Christmas Eve Eve Update

Friday, December 23, 2011

After finishing Wednesday night's post, Jonathan & I tucked ourselves into our little hospital fold-out couches and tried to go to sleep like we had each night we'd been here, counting on Juliette to have a peaceful night with improvement by the morning.

But apparently, Juliette wasn't interested in our agenda. She struggled to keep her numbers up all night. We were awake for a lot of it, trying to help our nurse as we could but mostly worrying. By the morning, her numbers weren't looking that great, and the doctor had to turn up the settings on the ventilator way up past all of the progress we'd made the past few days.

It's like when you train train train for months for a finally get to race day, finish it, but then take the next couple of weeks off. If you tried to run that race again, your endurance wouldn't be nearly what it was several weeks before...despite all the months of training, your endurance/all your hard work would've vanished just like that! So went all that progress we'd made toward getting off the ventilator quickly.

There were some pretty scary moments for us yesterday morning...through my blinding tears, I kept thinking, "I just wrote about trusting the Lord, and now I'm having to really do it. This is so hard. Lord, please don't take my baby. Please heal her from this virus." Push came to shove and I saw the limitations in medicine...the training, the drugs, the vast knowledge of doctors & nurses, the medical equipment. They can only do so much. They have no control over life. They are not God. Faced with this, I realized we already have the answer to the where-can-we-turn-to question. But it  isn't the easy road, trying to let go of the {imagined} control you have over tough situations.

We were told this morning to settle could take a while before her little lungs are ready to do the work of breathing on their own. She had a good day today staying steady and we are going to sleep tonight more reassured. We have all the time in the world if it means she'll get well.

Over and over I think, if there was any way in this world I could switch places with Juliette, I would do it in a second!  I can see a little more clearly the picture of God's love for us--we were sick with sin, and he interceded! Praise Him!

Tonight, the Jerkins family sends our love to you as the world rejoices at Christ's coming. What a precious gift the Lord gave us--this intercession for us through his own Son!

We appreciate and crave your continued prayers. Thank you so much for all the love and prayers that have been offered on Jules' behalf already.

Obviously, this isn't exactly the Baby's First Christmas that I had pictured. But we are so glad and thankful to be here with her where she can get the best care possible during her fight against RSV.

Merry Christmas to you!

***UPDATE (12/24 10:30 am)  Juliette had a great night last night! Her numbers right now look beautiful and her ventilator settings have been turned down (meaning her little lungs are able to do more work on their own). Praise God!

Before I forget: I was randomly interviewed by the New York Times for an article about how video conferencing is shaping family dynamics. The article is here--go to the 2nd page to see our little paragraph. (The writer originally found me from this post, where we revealed baby's gender via mass family skype/facetime/google chat get-together).


  1. Leslie, your family was on my heart all night and as I tossed and turned, I kept saying little prayers for you guys! I can't imagine all you are going through, but hang in there! The Lord has got his arms around you all and I pray y'all can feel that! There are so many people praying for y'all and the power of prayer is an amazing thing!

  2. I could hardly read this post through my blurry tear-filled eyes! I love you guys and will continue to pray for all 3 of you!

  3. All four of us got on our knees and prayed for Juliette, the nurses and doctors, and the two of you this morning. I am so so sorry! We'll keep praying. Love, the Sisco's

  4. Anonymous11:46 AM

    I am so sorry to hear about precious juliette...breaks my heart. We also said a prayer for you guys and have been thinking about you since i read this post first thing this morning. That picture of her sweet little hand will just rip your heart out. I'm glad you guys are at the hospital and in good care it sounds like, i know its not the ideal place to spend Christmas, but praise God for people that know what they are doing! We love y'all and i pray the worst is behind you and its all up hill from here! I wish we were there to give you a big hug, but i sure am glad you have so many loved ones near. We will continue to pray for you all and keep us posted!
    Love y'all, The Conners

  5. Leslie and Jonathan--I have thought of you all since your mom told me about Juliette's struggle, and you have been in my prayers since then. Your faith is amazing. I will offer a special prayer tonight at the Cathedral, and please know how much we will rejoice as Jules's numbers continue to improve. Thanks for writing. Leanne

  6. We've never met, but I've been reading your blog for a few years now. Praying for you, your husband and family and your sweet baby, that God will lay his healing touch on her.


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